We’ve had some days these last months. Days where we’ve felt a little lost. The first year of a new person’s life is miraculous.
It’s also a little disorienting. You go about living your life spinning round and round and then finally your feet land on the ground again and you wonder how you got to where you’re standing. It hasn’t felt like that all the time, but it has lately. When we stand wondering how we got where we are, it seems our eyes are drawn to the horizon, looking for answers…somewhere else. Yup, those days happen. I am grateful to recognize when we need to turn our eyes from the horizon toward our feet. Grateful to know that we need not look any further than ourselves: more time together, more stories that speak to our hearts, more quiet appreciation, more thanks said out loud.
It’s been getting better. We’ve been traveling to places we used to wander when we were only four. Our souls are filling up. We are beginning to find our way.
Today the boys emerged from their rooms dressed in what they declared their Halloween costumes. The lamenting of how much better things would be if only we had some missing implement, the checking and double checking that the distribution of clothing was equal, the desire to recreate somebody else’s something — all of those things that feel like we are lost in a strange world of dissatisfaction, they were all missing. They were replaced by long underwear, cutoff shorts, imaginations that had been dusted off a bit, a t-shirt and a turtleneck, minds that could compromise, some old ski gear, ful hearts, and a few random costume pieces from holidays past. Everyone felt (and looked) just perfect. I knew we weren’t lost. Sometimes it’s funny what makes everything seem right again.
Tonight we sang and talked and ate with four generations at our table. Again. Two little people traveled to the the park in search of singing elk with their grandparents and great grandparents. The other little person stayed at home. I marveled at the miracle of his being, while listening to his daddy play the guitar…
Say love. Say for me love.
We are found. Right here where we always were.